So it has been forever and a day since I have written on here. I know, I know, my consistency is not great. I’ve been going through a lot of interpersonal stuff and frankly have just been so Zamn Busy, “like whet??!!” and I just feel like I’ve been going through a lot and have been burning the candle at both ends and it’s not fun. I’ve been neglecting myself and in some ways I feel like have been derailed from what makes me happy (i.e. blogging, poetry, photography, and creative work). So with the change of seasons I am wanting to engage in a change in myself.
So for me and my own journey, that starts with a change in my environment (a new job), shameless pursuit of my passions, and relentless self love. I’ve always been the kind of person to let other people, places, and things take a front seat in my life and that shit needs to change lol. This idea of walking around being overworked and feeling under-cared for, is complete capitalistic shit and absolutely unsustainable. so it’s about to go down. I’m gonna change my life and I would encourage anyone who feels this way to begin taking the necessary steps to make change in their lives as well. So as loosely stated from the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, “It’s never to late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be. I hope you live a life that you are proud of and if you have to start all over again, I hope you have to courage to do so.”
He said your skin is so chocolate, like really chocolate, damn girl
He said, “what are you doing afterwards?”
He said, “let go out the back way, it’s faster”
He said, “I hate it when people always trying to appropriate our culture, they wanna take short cuts with out having to deal with all of it ”
He said, “I hate being rude to women”
He said, “what kind of men have you hanging around”
He said, “I like the ways that ass looks”
He said, “your body is just so african, do you work out or something?”
He said, “I’ll put you onto this set, it’s so good you’ve got to hear, I think you’ll like it”
He said, “You’re just so damn chocolate, like an African queen”
He said, “always stay black”
and then I never heard from him again.
-A. A. Eke
My great grandmother was a farmer
She was a medicine woman
She was brave.
My grandmother never spoke English
She was not literate
She raised her children through a war.
My mother is a broken women
She holds both magic and rage
She never shows love.
I would like to think that I am good with words
But I keep everything inside
I feel empty sometimes.
This song….this song… I swear this has been a week of up and downs and lots and lots of stress. This life (sigh) odiro easy! Flavour as an artist has always had a place in my heart, because he sings and raps in Igbo (my mother tongue), and he has this way of embedding cultural traditions into his music that is just so justifying. For those who don’t know Odiro easy loosely translates to it isn’t easy. There is just something about the beat and message that feels ancestral and comforting, odiro easy, but it is going to be okay. From my exhausted self to yours, I hope you enjoy.
For some reason Sunday Mornings tend to be my favorite time of the week. I live for the way the sun looks like in the sky, the way the light touches everything and the way whole world seems to be at a standstill. I love and live for this time every week. My Sunday morning ritual consists of watching my favorite Youtubers (currently old Clothes Encounters and Candice VanWye videos), listening to some sick tunes, watching the birds in the sky flock back and forth from my window, reading and of course making a BOMB breakfast. Oh yeah! and let me not forget tea, lots and lots of tea! I love my me time and this routine does the trick to making me feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the day. Let me know what routines you do to unwind, enjoy the moment and be more present 🙂
You have always been beautiful
Whether or not the world could see it
How many days does it take to heal?
I don’t know.
Maybe 100 days 100 nights? Or
Maybe I need 40 days in the dessert?
I honestly don’t know.
So you don’t know when you’ll be ready?
I don’t know.
I’m in winter now.
Maybe when spring comes.
Maybe seeing the flowers and trees open up
Will give me the courage to bloom.
I teach you to be brave
I hope you are never ashamed to be broken
To raise your fist in the air and scream your pain
Allow your heartbreak to be heard
Never suffer in silence
Never keep your story silent
I hope you speak,
You were never meant to be alone.
These dreams felt like a baptism
Conscious stirs pulled me deeper and deeper into submerge
The pressure from being underwater intertwined with being weightless
It was like nothing I could ever imagine or describe
It was alchemy
Breaking into new ground and understanding
Breaking bread and creating common spaces for the self and the soul
Feeling interconnected and yet untouchable, all at the same time
It was a holy contradiction
Tears flow seamlessly into the water;
I didn’t know where one begins and the other ends
Fear flowed into curiosity and then into fantasy
Welcome to the matrix
Welcome to the mystery
The ocean has a way of doing that