Hello! So this week has been airy… I don’t know exactly how to describe and that seems like the best word to come to mind. I’m still mulling, meditating and healing. Trying to formulate the next post, but in the interim I have an old post from my old (and first) blog, is called My Authentic Cliche. Not to toot my own own but I am rather impressed with my level of reasoning and depth of thought from back then. It’s reminicising and going back into my past and seeing things like this that encourage me to never give up on myself now. I’ve come to far and I have too much brilliance and light to just give up on myself or my dreams. I hope you all enjoy.
I hope your week has been nothing short of productive and amazing. Here I go with another Life Lesson. I don’t know if I want this to be a weekly thing or not but so far it has been. (Just a heads up if I skip a week or two down the line)
So as a growing young adult who is constantly learning and experiencing new things everyday, I find that this forces me reevaluate and read`just my new and old relationships, because frankly I am no longer a child. As someone who is a first generation child living in the United States I find that the way I live my life. Or better yet the level of independence in which I live my life is something that is very different from how the generation before me lived. Often the stereotyped mentality that they perceive a woman should embody is very different from the mentality that I posses.
Consequently, this difference leads to a lot a tension, retaliation, defensiveness and criticism on the part of the older generation, especially parents.
In my constant attempt to live an authentic life and to always, without shame, be myself, because I do feel like being one’s self is something that is an ever evolving work in progress. I, on the receiving end of much of this backlash end up feeling unsupported and unloved by the people who are supposed to love me the most. It’s hard because I know for many immigrant families success is something that is so closely tied to achieving the American Dream and monetary wealth, so in their way pushing me to reach for that is how they show their love. But as I am here on this earth, living in the present, going through my life, struggling and at times succeeding in finding my way, what I feel I need the most now is not someone to yell and criticize me twice a day everyday. What I need is someone to love and support me just as I am, and not state to only be proud of me for the wealthy person they hope I will be in the future.
I know this life lesson is seeming a lot like a sob story of my life, but let me turn this around. I think one’s early 20’s is time for exploration and real self discovery. And I’m not downing constructive criticism, because I welcome that and actually feel like that is very important. I am however, downing treating a 20-something year old like a child and constantly trying to control and manipulate them into living a certain way. And I am promoting that, at this point in their lives the most important thing a person needs is love. Just the thought that the people who are supposed to love you, do in fact love you for who you are (whether or not they agree with every choice) with all your imperfections is crucial and is probably the best thing you can give a person at any age.
I understand though that for some families this type of unconditional love is just too much to ask for. For those of you who are in this situation I would say that you have to learn to love and support yourself and become your own biggest cheerleader. It sounds hard but the best strength I believe comes from within. And for many of us learning to love ourselves, despite our difficulties and setbacks, is a highest right of passage.
I know this wasn’t as cheery as some of you are used to but it’s what I was compelled to write about today. Hopefully, this resonates with some of you and helps you deal with whatever situation that you might be experiencing. I promise there are happier post to come!
Best wishes to all!